Demon BANISHING Prayer
Uh oh! Looks like you’ve got a teensy bit of a mistake on your hands girlie...
did your Demon Summoning Prayer backfire? mommy’s little man from Hell isn’t what you expected? keep reading for solutions!
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So, your little Lord of Hell turned out to be a real nasty brute? Oh babe, I hate that. Who could have seen this coming. 😞
Well sis, let’s get you all fixed up. Let's start with an important question about your new demon friend.
Is he hot, and if not is the dock wide enough to make a difference? Yes, I’m serious. Assess. And we’re talking hot in some vague, aural sense, not just how he looks — does he have a H O T S O U L. (In this case, he literally does not have a soul, but ykwim). Are the vibes hot?
“Yes” — can you give me his number? Snag a picture of his dock? Are you really soooo sure you wanna get rid of him?? Maybe I could just take him off your hands and we’ll call it a day?
THE END
“No” — alright, fine. He’s trash, he’s literally the spawn of Hell, and he’s probably a malignant narcissist — let's get him out of your hair immediately.
Go up to your little beelzebub friend and tell him you’re ready to serve him. Put the charm on, babe. You want Mr. Astaroth to think he’s gonna get lucky. If there’s one thing demons love, its anal (ask me how I know 🥰). So, you want to lightly suggest, but not full on offer, that he might get to stretch that gorilla grip out. But be careful what you offer up to the shadow — anything you offer a demon can and will be used against you — they are extremely litigious! They WILL get what they want, and they WILL imprison your eternal soul and your bussy for all time (ask me how I know 😳).
He’s gonna try to pretend that he’s all business, like he’s not interested, like he isn’t cuntstruck by your very presence. But the pie’s in his nostrils now, girlypop, and he’s running his hulking, taloned feet into the kitchen.
Now’s when you tell him “I’ve never had my bussy ate”, in your own little way, and then he’s gonna open a portal to another dimension and beckon you through. You might think, “Now’s the time to run? Do I really wanna get eaten out and sodomized, (hello!) as an elaborate scheme to banish this demon back to hell?? or do I want to have my little Run Lola Run moment and get the fuck out of here?” I could say that this is fear talking, but the literal embodiment of fear is on the other side of that portal, and he wants to murder your second/third/fourth hole. No, sis, if you run now, you will just get dragged to hell and torn apart by boar-hawk chimeras in the screaming void for all eternity. Keeping him horny is keeping him 1) more interested in you and 2) less interested in the violent shrieking of the rhythm of fear that constitutes his internal monologue.
So, you go through that portal, into the alternate dimension of abstract sex chairs and melting torture staircases, and you ride his poisoned face. You may be surprised — some demons really have it, some demons don’t, but all of them are better in bed than any nephilim, or mortal man, or Grindr hookup or whatever.
Then, you make him think you’re gonna actually let him hit. But don’t get swept up in his seduction — you’re here to send his ass back to hell where it belongs, and prevent your mortal body from being torn apart by a screeching, corporeal embodiment of death and fear itself. You deserve more, babe.
So, you let him take it out, while you wait for the right moment. He’s gonna do that thing where he slaps your ass with it. Just plops it right on top. Why do the encocked do things like this? I don’t know, but, it's gonna happen. You just let him focus on that, and then…
CASTRATE HIM 🔪🔪
This is the most important step. I’ve read Hemmingway. This is the most tragic thing you could do to any self-serious man. (Demons, it turns out, are a lot like self-serious men.)
Then, if you don’t have your own dick, girlie, grab the strap. A demon’s greatest weakness is his own psychosexuality — he built his whole personality around dominance, penetration, and destruction, to hide his true desire to receive those things in earnest. Now, he can no longer hide from his desire, and, exposed in the light of truth, he will yield that dussy to you and take it like he was made for it.
The moment he cums, it’s over. He will leave you, and retreat into the void to contemplate the actualization of his hidden desires and wallow in existential ego death. (As if demons can’t grow their dicks back whenever they want — as if he wasn’t just about to torture your bussy for ten thousand years!) He’s gonna milk this whole thing hard, and make a a big moment out of it. If you gave him your soul, baby he doesn’t want that shit now! He wants nothing to do with you! He’ll call you a bitch, a faggot, whatever, but really, he can’t accept that he just lived out his own little castration fantasy moment. Furthermore, any contract you signed with him is now null and void, as per the Castration & Penetration Fantasy Clause. (You could have saved yourself a lot of time if you just read the fine print babygirl, but that’s why I’m here!)
Maybe in a few hundred years, he’ll come back to you to seek revenge and all of that. But such is the way of the demonic arts, babe — you summon a demon, you get a demon. Lets make better choices in the future and respect ourselves 🥰
